A Christmas Wish from DogMom

(DogMom here... I'm feeling much better today! But, Gomer and Opie were really really naughty boys yesterday. They ate the entire Harry & David treat box that my supervisor gave me... only left two gumdrops and the bag of chocolate-covered cherries. Randi, my dog walker from Lake Minnetonka Pet Sitters, cleaned up the mess and called me to inform me of their consumption of five pounds of goodies. Thankfully, they didn't eat the chocolate! So, in their honor, please sing this posting to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas...)

On the twentieth of December, my two dogs gave to me... An empty box of sweet treats.

On the same day in December, my two dogs gave to me... Two crazy dogs, and an empty box of sweet treats.

Still that same day in December, my two dogs gave to me... Three frayed nerves, two crazy dogs and an empty box of sweet treats.

That same day in December, my two dogs gave to me... Four falling crates, three frayed nerves, two crazy dogs and an empty box of sweet treats.

Yet the 20th of December, my two dogs gave to me... Randi Going Nuts. Four falling crates, three frayed nerves, two crazy dogs and an empty box of sweet treats.

Just five days before Christmas, my two dogs gave to me... Six empty boxes. Randi Going Nuts! Four falling crates, three frayed nerves, two crazy dogs and an empty box of sweet treats.

It's five days before Christmas and my two dogs gave to me... Seven stairs-a-stepping, six empty boxes. Randi Going Nuts! Four falling crates, three frayed nerves, two crazy dogs and an empty box of sweet treats.

Still five days before Christmas and my two dogs gave to me... Eight paws a pausing, seven stairs-a-stepping, six empty boxes. Randi Going Nuts! Four falling crates, three frayed nerves, two crazy dogs and an empty box of sweet treats.

Now five days before Christmas and my two dogs gave to me... Nine lives gone prancing, eight paws a pausing, seven stairs-a-stepping, six empty boxes. Randi Going Nuts! Four falling crates, three frayed nerves, two crazy dogs and an empty box of sweet treats.

It's still five days before Christmas and my two dogs gave to me... Ten gourds a leaping, nine lives gone prancing, eight paws a pausing, seven stairs-a-stepping, six empty boxes. Randi Going Nuts! Four falling crates, three frayed nerves, two crazy dogs and an empty box of sweet treats.

The twentieth of December and my two dogs gave to me... eleven crated cravings, ten gourds a leaping, nine lives gone prancing, eight paws a pausing, seven stairs-a-stepping, six sempty boxes. Randi Going Nuts! Four falling crates, three frayed nerves, two crazy dogs and an empty box of sweet treats.

A few days before Christmas and my two dogs gave to me... twelve days of jail time, eleven crated cravings, ten gourds a leaping, nine lives gone prancing, eight paws a pausing, seven stairs-a-stepping, six empty boxes. Randi Going Nuts! Four falling crates, three frayed nerves, two crazy dogs and an empty box of sweet treats.

Anybody smiling with me? Want to know my Christmas wish???? NORMAL DOGS for just one day!

The boyz are off to Dog Pad (www.dogpaddogs.com) and I'm cruisin' to Ohio for the Holidays. Hope yours are happy and healthy and bring only pleasant surprises. Most likely won't be posting until after the first of the year.
Wuf Ya!

DogMom CAN'T Be Sick!

Ya know, Tosca and Hudson, you're pretty smart dogs. But OUR dogmom is never ever sick... she takes care of US when WE're sick. There's no way that she could be sick and not be feeling well. It's just not possible.

I don't know tho, you might be right. She did kind of sound like Opie and me when we upchuck chew bones or onions or pieces of paper, plastic and toys that we try to swallow.

And, she didn't cook anything in the kitchen for the last three days. She just keeps drinking something called tea -- and let me tell ya, it does NOT taste good. (We both tried it when she wasn't looking.) So, she must not be quite right in the head if she's drinking that stuff, right?

And, she always takes us for walks and plays with us... even when she pretends to be mad at us for getting into stuff and going to jail... but she hasn't been doing that, either.

She didn't even want me to smell her face and sneeze like I always do. And, she didn't seem amused when Opie laid his head on her with his butt up in the air and that tail-whip-thing that he has flying all back-and-forth and 'round in circles.

In any case, I hope she gets back to normal soon.
Wuf Ya!

DogMom at Home All Day!

Ok... so we're conflicted again.

We love it when dogmom stays home with us all day and doesn't go to that place where she disappears to and wears the clothes we're not allowed to jump on. Seems like every few days or so, she stays home and gets out the big green monster and puts all our stuff and her stuff into that machine that goes round and round.

But, this time was different. Dogmom stayed home and the first daylight she was normal and did all those things she usually does. But the second and third day, she was different. She just laid around and slept all day. Except when she took us outside and expected us to do our business without walking and without smelling everything. Goofy human.

But then she'd go back to bed again. Sometimes she'd get up and hug the dogbowl in the bathroom that for some odd reason she keeps the lid on. Guess that one's hers and she doesn't want to share it. Must be some really good water in that one, huh? With her wanting to hug it like that?

Wuf Ya!

Uh-Oh! DogMom Forgot the Birthdays!

So, for once, it's not Opie and me in trouble. It's DogMom, this time.

See, two of DogMom's siblings have birthdays this month and she forgot one of them. She remembered her sister's and sent her a present. But she totally forgot about her brother's birthday. Well, she remembered, but then she forgot to do something about it.

So... this posting is for Uncle Danny from DogMom... but she's too embarrassed to write it, so Opie and me did.

Happy Barkday to You! Happy Barkday to You! Happy Barkday, Uncle Danny! Happy Barkday to YOU!

(How did we do?)
Wuf Ya!

UFOs? In Chaska?

Ok. So this is really freaky.
We went outside early this morning to do our business, like we always do.
But it was different. Well, something was different.

See the lights? They only showed up on Opie's photos... not in mine. If I'm in the picture, there are no funny lights. If I'm not, there they are.




Whatever does it mean?
Wuf Ya!

We're SO Big!

This post was prompted by "tiny" Tosca's dogmom's claim that she "ain't lifting me [Tosca] without a crane" and that Tosca weighs "a whole lot more than a big bag of rock salt."

Ahem. Tosca - you're nothing more than a petite, svelte lady collie.

Dogmom did the measurement thing on us last night (after some squriming and running away and generally wreaking havoc, which we're best at). Here's what she found:

I, Gomer, am 39" long from my black nose to the white tip on my tail. My tail, if she holds it straight, is 11" long. But usually it is shorter cuz it curls up over my back like a beagle tail. I'm 22" tall and I weigh 52.1 pounds.

Opie's measurements make him seem like he's about the same size as me, but really he's a lot smaller, albeit taller.

Opie is also 39" long from his black nose to the white tip on his tail. But, like I told ya before, he's got that whip for a tail. He's like 40% tail, in fact! His tail is a whopping 16" long. That's 5" longer than mine! So what if he's an inch taller, if we docked his tail, he'd be a lot smaller than me. He weighs about the same - 52.5 pounds.

Oh, and Tosca, you're snout isn't really that big. Mine from my ears to my nose is only 7 inches, but Opie's is 9.5 inches... and he's not even a collie!

Wuf Ya!

Nothing to Report

Well, since we were in jail all day yesterday, we didn't get into any trouble. (Surprising, I know.)

DogMom let us out of our crate-jails last night. She must have felt guilty, cuz we each got one of those BIG retriever rolls last night. And, it wasn't just a big retriever roll... it was a big retriever roll with liver paste inside. We hit the jackpot, I tell ya!

Man, if staying in jail and not getting into trouble for a day means we get one of those... I volunteer to just sleep in my crate until she comes home!

Wuf Ya!

Jailbirds... Again!

So... you all know us by now. We think we can stay out of trouble. We really, really try to stay out of trouble. We say we're going to. We promise. We try.

But then, something happens. It starts off as just playing. We're having so much fun at the time that we just don't think about what might happen next. We just kinda go into automatic dogilot... ya know?

Well... um... they say that a picture says a thousand words. Whoever they are.

I can assure you that we heard more than a thousand words from dogmom when she came in Saturday afternoon and saw this...

Wuf Ya!

What's with All the Stuff?

Geesh, it's getting crowded at our house. Boxes and bags and packages everywhere. On the tables... stacked in the corner... on the counter. Man, it's just a mess, let me tell ya.

Worst part is that Opie and I aren't allowed to even sniff around over there any more. Well, we do when dogmom leaves, but please don't tell her. We're in enough trouble these days on our own.

I just don't get it. Every couple of days she comes home from whereever it is she goes during the day and lays down another package or bag. Sometimes she moves stuff from one to another. Other times, she writes something illegible on the bag. Other times, she sticks the new bag into an old bag. What a weirdo.

Nothing smells like food or like dog toys. Well, some of them smell like dog toys, but I'm not looking really close yet -- I'm not very high on her "get-away-with-anything-today" list yet... and Opie's even lower.

What do you thing she's up to?

Wuf Ya!

Can We Keep It?

Opie's still on the mend and it's waaaaaaayyyyy too cold to go outside -- it's 2 degrees and -12 with the wind chill factored in. So, we probably won't escape and get into any more trouble this week. (Frankly, at this point, I'm not 100% sure that dogmom would come after us again.)

So, we thought we'd post something about somebody else for a change.

You know, we have lots of dogcousins and people cousins living in Ohio. One of them is Bailey, an almost white golden retriever that is a couple of years older than us. I like going to Bailey's house out in the country cuz we can run around the field and go into the woods and generally just be dogs while dogmom visits with the humans. Opie and Bailey got into a spat last time we were there, but it was cuz Opie didn't want to listen to Bailey when he told him to stop being a brat.

Anyways, Bailey owns dogmom's godchild, Ryan, and his sister Addy. We got this picture in the mail this week of them outside last summer. Addy wanted to keep it as a pet, but for some reason her humom and hudad wouldn't let her. Crazy humans!

Wuf Ya!

We've Been Elfed!

Dog-gone-it Tosca and Hudson! We told you that we didn't want you to tell dogmom about the elfing thing. Now look what she's done!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=c69c742dd766ae3d792f199_20061206

http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=61fbd99c578c381ada73b3d_20061206

Jeesh.
We wuf ya anyways.

Worth It?

So, dogfriends, I'm just not sure that my 15 minutes of freedom was worth it at this point.

Not only do I have to live with the humiliation of dogmom taking photos of my bruises and posting them online... but just look at what she's done to my paws!

Somebody please save me from this insane life!
Opie

Battered and Bruised

First of all, we want to assure you that dogmom had nothing to do with this, other than she took the pictures. She didn't beat Opie, I swear it. In fact, she has never hit either one of us, which is why we're so glad that we get to live with her.

See, Friday night when dogmom got home, she found out that we raided the new special treats that she bought for us. She doled them out only one per day and we decided that we really liked them by the second day. So, we helped ourselves after Randi left but before dogmom came home. And yes, we ate the WHOLE bag.

Then, on Saturday afternoon when dogmom opened the front door to pick up a package that was delivered, Opie got a wild hair and decided to take off through the door. It was cold, but that didn't seem to matter to him. He kept running and running and running. Dogmom tried to chase him and catch him; but he's still too fast for her.

Eventually, she tried to convince him that we were going for a car ride and opened the back of the Explorer. But he didn't jump in. Instead, he ran across the street and jumped into the neighbor's SUV. What a dope. Anyway, dogmom caught him when he did that.

When they came in the door, she looked worried. He was making some blood tracks on the carpet. So, she had him lay down on the blanket on the couch and looked at his paws. She was very worried and got the doggie first-aid kit out of the closet. She cleaned and wrapped his paws.

Then, she took pictures of his new bruises. He must have tried to jump over something and missed. That's what dogmom said, since all the bruises are on his belly and inside of his thigh and because of the cuts on the pads of his feet. We're gonna keep a really close eye on him, let me tell ya!

Wuf Ya!

DogMom's Short Memory

Hi. It's me, Gomer! Good thing for me that dogmom has a really short memory. It's like she forgot that I got stuck in the muck the other night. I'm out of jail. I've had my bath. I've been checked out for injuries and none were found. (Except for the pride that was bruised since I couldn't get myownself out.)

Opie's perturbed that I'm free again. (Snicker)

Anyway, all seems to be forgiven.

Well, except that I have this newer, heavier, tighter collar on now. And, I have to use the leash instead of getting to use the wireless fence collar or the tie-out stake. And, it seems like Opie gets to wander farther away from her than I do. And, if there is a squirrel or a rabbit outside, I have to wait until they can't be seen before I can go pee.

Other than that, all seems to be forgiven and life is pretty much back to normal.

Wuf Ya!